so loved

Widow – a poem of grief



It’s just the moving forward part

the getting on with your life part

the being grateful for what you had part.


I managed the bleed, the bathroom floor

The hospital, the kids, the family, the friends,

The news, the shock, the devastation,

The brave face, the hope, the optimism,

The drugs, the driving (with you as a passenger!)

The endless trips to be poisoned,

The fruitless efforts to get you to eat,

The pills and needles, pumps and procedures,

And the relentless dragon of bad news.


All you endured we shared

Our one heart beating

Our one breath whispering

words of love at 3 am


Held your hand every time they hurt you

and all through the night

and as your last breaths left you

my darling beautiful one.


I will never let go of your hand my love

But you have let go of mine you see

And tethered by love float above me

In a cloudless sky just out of reach


I rose to the occasion

But so did you, and now

No matter how far I stretch

You are still above me and within me

Beyond me and around me

I am made of you



So there is no moving forward

For I take you with me

No getting on with life

For you are my life


And as for grateful, my darling

I am, for every minute I spent

In the miracle of your love


Making every minute since

Incomprehensible. Unimaginable. Obscene.


So the Academy Award for best actress

in a leading role goes to

The universe’s most cherished wife

In the role of the Merry Widow.


  • Written on what would have been our 20th anniversary